Previously on Warehouse 13...
We haven't met. I'm Mrs. Frederic.
Warehouse 13, is it yours?
It's mine. And so are Lattimer and Bering.
Excuse me?
Kate Logan, Chicago field office.
I didn't know you had transferred to Chicago.
So, uh, you showing up here means I should call you, right?
Call, don't call. Same as always.
Hey.
I'm so sorry we got cut off earlier.
Something huge came up.
I don't think it's a good idea for me to see you anymore.
Turn around and put your hands in the air.
H.G. Wells.
It's my daughter. My Christina.
Everything that ever mattered in my life is gone now,
except the Warehouse.
I want to come back and work there again.
I don't care if I'm having a brain transplant.
You cross paths with H.G. Wells,
yank me out of anesthesia and you fill me in.
Is that understood?
Yes, sir. Crystal clear.
Stop! For God's sake!
I told you I've got a bad shoulder, okay?
It's an old wrestling injury.
Seventy-one. He bowled a 71.
It's amazing to me that you're single. Really so surprising.
It broke.
What? What? What broke?
She knows. Just some dumb shelf. I'll kill you.
Is there a reason warehouse shelves are falling down?
Yes. We need brackets.
From the hardware store.
I'm usually pretty good at mysteries, this one's got me stumped.
Yeah, me too.
Todd works at the hardware store.
Oh, yes. Yes. Todd, the young lad with the glasses.
Boyfriend. Not anymore.
They broke up.
She's trying not to run into him
so she won't go to the hardware store to get the brackets...
I don't care about Todd.
She doesn't care about Todd. What a coincidence.
And we've got work to do.
Yes. Let's all grow up a little, shall we?
Oh, snap. Kate Logan.
Excuse me.
Yeah. Just can't get enough of me, can you? Well, who can blame you?
What?
Pete, what's wrong?
It's Dickinson. Somebody's...
Guys.
We have to go to Washington D.C. Right now.
Do they know the cause of death?
Massive internal bleeding and hypovolemic shock.
This is an x-ray of Dickinson's hand.
It looks like every bone has been dislocated.
Yeah, the carpals usually sit right against the radius
but there's half an inch between them.
Every joint in his body looks like that,
as if he was pulled apart.
Oh, my God.
Who the hell could have done this?
The only word for it is freaky.
That's why I called you. That's what you do, right?
Weird and freaky.
The pain, it just must have been...
Would you give us a minute?
Right. Super secret weird and freaky.
Be outside.
I just, I can't believe this. Why?
I don't care what it takes, we are not going to stop
until we know who's responsible for this.
Pete, it's me.
This is my fault.
Artie, what do you mean this is your fault?
How could this be your fault?
Artie, just talk to us. What did this?
You never would have thought it was anything.
Just an old rusty chain.
What chain?
The rack. The chain from Torquemada's rack.
What? Who is this Torquemada woman?
A different rack entirely.
Tomas de Torquemada, the Grand Inquisitor.
He was the driving force behind the Spanish Inquisition.
If the holder pulls the chain taut
and focuses his energy on the victim,
then it induces the same kind of bone-wrenching agony suffered on the rack.
That's why Dickinson's bones were all twisted and wrenched from their sockets.
I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
Artie, I just don't understand, how is this your fault?
Well, in the '70s, I had some dealings with the Soviet Union.
No, no, Artie, we know all that. Okay, pre-Warehouse,
you worked for the NSA, you traded secrets to the Russians.
They were going to charge you with treason, but Mrs. Frederic fixed it.
You didn't trade secrets, did you?
Artifacts?
Trinkets. I thought that they were antiques,
old relics that the Soviets were willing to trade for.
Trade... Trade what? Money?
No. People.
Political prisoners rotting in the Gulags.
You traded artifacts for people?
It was a different world, Myka.
Berlin Wall, nuclear stockpiling, the persecution of Soviet Jews.
What was a rusty old chain compared to a human life?
I didn't know it was an artifact.
Hey man, I'd have done the same thing.
And then one day my Russian contact let slip
that these old trinkets
had power.
Pretty soon I discovered that many of these things
had frightening dangerous power
and I couldn't live with the guilt so I...
So you turned yourself in.
And that was the day Mrs. Frederic came into my life.
She made me an offer, a chance to make amends for past mistakes.
That's why she gave you a new name.
Arthur Weisfelt died that day and Artie Nielsen was born.
That's a hell of a story, Artie, but what's it got to do with Dickinson?
Why him?
I don't know, but we are going to find out.
The glory are yours, forever and ever. Amen.
Amen.
I'm just going to take a walk.
Okay.
Is she okay?
As okay as you can be at a friend's funeral.
It's a bloody rotten business.
What are you doing here?
Same as you, tracking Torquemada's chain.
It was on our Most Desired List in Warehouse 12.
Well, you know what? You are actually on Artie's most desired list,
so unless you want to be bronzed again, I would suggest that you...
He's still opposed to my returning as an agent?
Well, he's opposed to your existence,
so yeah, I would say that extends to you...
This is absurd. I saved your life. I saved Claudia's life.
I've proven I can be trusted.
More than that I've proven that I'm of value.
I'm not questioning your value.
I'm curious about your motives.
Myka, I can't!
I don't belong in this world.
The Warehouse is my...
I'm going to need more than that.
I'm going to need more than, "She doesn't like the world."
I need the truth. Why did they bronze you?
What, what did you do that the Regents
felt that they had to encase you?
I asked to be bronzed.
You asked? You...
Who in their right mind...
I wasn't in my right mind.
My daughter, my Christina had been murdered.
A senseless crime, brutal and senseless.
I had to try to change it.
I was working in a place where miracles happen.
There had to be something, some way to bring her back
or to turn back time.
I spent years desperately combing the shelves of Warehouse 12.
Twice I was discovered and brought before the Regents,
twice they were lenient and gave me a reprieve.
The third time
my recklessness
cost the life of a fellow agent.
I was distraught, quite mad, I'm afraid.
I had become a danger.
So I asked and they said yes.
I suppose I hoped to awaken in a different world, a better one.
The bronzer was your time machine.
Closest I could come.
I'll talk to Artie.
Thank you.
This is how to reach me in DC.
Myka, I'm sorry about your friend.
We sure missed you when you left the NSA.
Beauty and brains.
Thanks, Joe.
Turns out that I found my calling.
Oh! Do I want to know what that means? No, never mind, I don't.
As long as you love what you're doing, right?
Yeah.
Right.
Thanks, but I'm really not hungry.
I made tuna melts.
Tuna melt? Okay, you buried the lede.
I'm standing in front of a dead woman.
You two have to live in the same town, work it out.
I'll go get some lemonade.
If Claudia won't come to the hardware store...
Hardware store will come to Claudia? Cute.
Ooh, brackets. You shouldn't have.
Yeah. So...
So?
How's life? Good?
If by good, you mean excruciatingly boring, then yeah, my life's good.
Yeah, mine's really good.
I've been thinking about you.
Ironic you broke up with me.
I know.
I guess I just didn't think you'd cut out of my life completely.
I can do black, I can do white. Not so good with gray.
You mix black paint with white paint.
You've got to get out of that hardware store,
at least to find some new metaphors.
So does that mean we can maybe be friends?
Friends sounds gray-ish.
The thing is, Claudia...
I got to go.
I'm sorry. I'II...
You're leaving.
I'll call you later. I promise.
I'm really sorry! I promise, I'll call you!
What happened?
I have no frackin' idea.
Dude was here, got a text, dude is gone.
Well, men are generally out of touch with their emotions.
I mean, look at Pete and Artie.
Those are my choices?
They say one thing and they do another because they're not exactly sure how they feel.
Mixed signals cover all possibilities.
Exactly.
How am I supposed to respond to that, Leena, with a big smile?
Or with gunfire?
With patience. Give him time.
Patience. Right. No, I can be patient.
Actually, no, I can't.
Sanchez, are you back from lunch already? Could you...
Hey, who are you? How did you get in here?
Artie, Pete's just looking through the rest of the security camera footage.
This is where you found him?
It was quick and quiet. People in the other offices didn't hear a thing.
Artie, it's 70 degrees here,
but the prelim says that he died of hypothermia.
Did the chain also...
The Titanic, there was a piece of driftwood.
It was pried from the arms of one of the victims.
It became imbued with certain properties.
Another one you traded.
The coincidence doesn't escape me either.
If someone wanted Joe dead,
then NSA headquarters is not the easiest place to take him out.
I think whatever they were after was right here.
And I want to know what.
You're never going to get in. The NSA system is so much tighter than ours...
I'm in.
I'm surprised it took you that long.
Maybe I shouldn't be here while you hack NSA's files.
The mainframe was not accessed,
so whatever they were looking for was only in this computer.
Here. And the last file accessed was...
It's just a list of Russian names and addresses.
What?
Artie, what's the connection?
Me.
These are names of people that I got released from the Gulag.
It's a list of my relatives.
These people are your family?
Hey guys, so I went through the internal security feed.
There's something you're going to want to see.
Okay. Wait, wait, wait, right there.
H.G. Wells, what is she doing now?
And why is she coming after me?
Look, maybe she was here for other reasons.
Like what? Applying for a job?
No, like hunting down whatever artifact that did this so she can prove herself
and rejoin the Warehouse.
Myka, how do you know that?
I may have spoken to her.
Oh, man. You've been talking to H. G?
Let me understand this, you spoke to H.G. Wells
about official Warehouse 13 matters
and you didn't tell me?
I was waiting for the right time.
This ain't it.
You of all people, you accuse me of keeping secrets
and then you go and do something like this?
Hey, hey, hey, no. Hey, you know what, Artie?
No, no, no, this is good.
This is good because now we have a lead.
We have a lead.
And we know that H.G. Is involved.
And all we have to do is find her and thank God that Myka is so good at that.
I know where she is.
The Archer Hotel.
I guess we're going. Yeah.
All right. All right, Claude, you can do this. Just walk up to him and say, "Todd..."
And I'm officially stalking him. Okay.
- Her name's Claudia. - Claudia. Yeah.
Ah, took you long enough. Finally looked at the envelope, did you?
Torquemada's chain, where is it?
I don't have it. I've been looking for it since 1894.
I'm trying to help you, Artie.
How do we know you didn't kill Dickinson? Or Joe Sweetwood?
What possible reason would I have?
Hadn't you rather be looking for the person
who was photographing Artie at Dickinson's funeral?
Photographing me?
I followed him but by the time I got inside the NSA it was too late.
He left something on Mr. Sweetwood's body.
I imagine it has significance to you.
What? What was it?
I'm more than happy to share my information but I expect a little quid pro quo.
Nothing. I tell you nothing.
Right. Good luck then.
Artie, wait, maybe she has some information.
No, she is a killer and she belongs in the bronze sector.
You don't know that.
I will not be blackmailed.
It's a lead. Artie, we need leads.
All right.
What is it?
In the bible on the nightstand.
What does it mean?
Alexander.
He's calling me out.
Who?
It's my Soviet contact. Whenever we wanted to meet, he would leave a king of hearts.
But I thought he was in prison.
Yeah, well, looks like he's out, and obviously not for good behavior.
He went after Dickinson because Dickinson knew that Arthur Weisfelt
had become Artie Nielsen.
And by killing Joe, this guy gets the list of all your relatives in Russia.
He's going after your family.
That's all the quid pro quo you're going to get.
This guy must want you to know what he's doing, but why?
Artie, why was Alexander sent to prison?
When I turned myself in,
he became useless to his government, he was a liability.
By the time I found that out, it was too late.
So, revenge.
I have to get to Moscow.
No. Artie, that's exactly what he wants!
He's coming after my family.
Well, we're going, too.
It's too dangerous. Oh, don't even bother.
Weisfelt Instruments. Yeah.
That's quite the family resemblance.
And teaches music just like my father.
Why don't you go in and say hello?
No. No, that would put him in even more danger.
We've never met. The family thinks that Arthur Weisfelt's dead.
It should stay that way.
Man, this is a huge list. Was your whole family tree subversive?
Well, no, I had several cousins who were refuseniks.
In those days, when one was grabbed,
the whole family was grabbed.
So how are we supposed to warn and protect everyone...
We're not. We're going to find Alexander first.
I got it. We find the bastard and then we go in guns blazing.
We're not going to do any blazing. We're going to keep a low profile.
This visit is not exactly government-sanctioned.
So no help from the local authorities and no diplomatic immunity.
None. What could they do to us?
You two, they yell at you, they send you home.
And what about you?
I didn't change my name to hide from our government.
As far as the Russians are concerned I'm a spy who betrayed them, so...
See, that's something you could have brought up on the plane.
This is the safe house where Alexander and I used to meet.
Alexander was a creature of habit.
If he's not here now, he will be soon.
Well, finally, we're one step ahead of this guy.
He's on the roof. Son of a bitch!
Grenade!
No. Croquet ball.
Croquet ball.
Oh, God, if he's got the other one... Get down! Down!
Is this another old friend of yours, Artie?
Yeah. It's Charles the Second's croquet ball.
Imbued with the fury of a king and a sore loser.
Interesting sidebar... Later!
So how do we stop it?
We don't. It's got to stop on its own.
It could take hours.
The ball is lethal, stay out of its way.
I think I can make it to the door and then see if I can spot him.
Artie, be careful!
Pete, get down!
Oh. Bye-bye.
Myka, you think you can get to the old fridge?
You're hungry now?
Just be prepared to open it. Okay?
Right. Okay.
Ready? One, two... Go!
Whoa! Pete, behind you!
Whoa! Little league, don't fail me now!
Pete, Artie's outside!
Artie!
Well, this isn't good.
Are you getting a vibe?
Don't need one.
Yeah? I'm here.
Who are the Fighting Ocelots? Hmm?
Claude, you have a Post-it kind of stuck on your...
Hey, you find any info on Alexander? We've run into a real dead end here.
Ah, I pulled an all-nighter digging for intel.
And?
Nada. The Soviets must have disappeared him.
I'm running some needle-in-a-haystack programs right now
but I'm going to need a little more info.
Can you put Artie on a sec?
Can't, he's... Artie got hungry
and he went out for some borscht.
Just get back to us.
There's no use in panicking Claudia. I mean, there's not much she can do from there.
There's not much we can do from here.
And now I want borscht.
Wow. Is that all on Alexander?
This is on Alexander.
This is on Todd.
I'm not stalking him, but look at this picture I took of him.
Look at that. See the guy he's talking to?
He's totally packing heat in Univille.
I mean, I saw that, I figured maybe I should dig a little deeper.
School records, tax, dental records.
Claudia, that's a little stalker-y.
What did you find out?
Nothing. Until you get behind the data.
All of this info was entered on the same day six months ago.
Right before Todd showed up in our sleepy little hamlet.
Leena, what if Todd is trying to use me to get into the Warehouse?
I think I should go to town...
No. You should stay away from him until Artie gets back.
Claudia.
You're right.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
I guess I'll just figure out
which shelf to put this thing on.
I'll do that. I'll do it. I'll do it.
Okay.
Okay. Too easy.
Claudi-ella, I was just thinking about you.
Todd-o-rama. Settle a bet for Pete and me.
He thinks there's no high school with an ocelot mascot,
but I thought you said your high school football team had one, right?
Did we talk about this?
Yeah, the Fighting Ocelots.
I knew it. The undefeated Ocelots.
Pride and joy of my youth.
Listen, I was thinking, we should totally be friends and hang out.
Nice segue. How about Friday?
How about now?
Sounds good.
Pond in the park in say, 45?
Make it 40.
Great.
Okay, we can't go to the local police
and we certainly can't go to the government.
We don't know how to call Mrs. Frederic.
Well, all right, what about...
Hold it.
What?
What is this?
Oh, for crying out loud.
I think someone's watching us.
Why didn't you just say that?
Because I'm trying to act nonchalant.
Oh, good job.
All right, so I still want you to go that way.
Mmm-hmm.
Okay? And then I'm going to go... I'm going to go this way.
Okay.
Take the bag, okay? We'll see who he follows.
Okay.
All right, babe. Well, I'll see you later.
I'll see you at dinner. Give me some sugar.
Just go with it. All right.
Was that really necessary?
Hey, you. You mind telling me what you're doing here?
Hi. You remember me?
We really don't have time for this.
How did you find us?
Receiver.
It tells me the exact coordinates of the transmitter
I slipped into Myka's pocket at the cemetery.
And before you get angry... I'm not angry.
Just tell me you also slipped one of those into Artie's pocket, too.
Artie's gone?
He was kidnapped.
Probably by same person who killed Dickinson and Sweetwood.
We could use your help.
Wait, Myka, no. Artie would blow a gasket.
Pete, we need help and she's here.
And for the record, I knew
that you'd slipped this in my pocket in the cemetery.
I thought you'd know. I knew that you'd think that.
All right. Look, we think he might have been taken by his former Soviet contact.
That's impossible. How do you know that?
It couldn't have been Alexander.
That's why Claudia's trail ran cold.
Do you mind filling me in here?
Alexander died 13 years ago.
Alexander. Alexi? It's you, isn't it?
Why? Some kind of revenge?
Alexander, listen,
what we did was wrong.
The artifacts were dangerous.
They needed to be locked away. That's why I turned myself in.
I didn't know that they would punish you.
Save your breath.
You'll need it.
Who the hell are you?
The last person you'll ever see.
Arthur Weisfelt. The man I spent my entire life hating.
Oh, my God. You look just like...
It's Ivan, right? Ivan, you're Alexander's son.
No.
To be a son, you need a father.
Mine spent his entire life in prison because of you.
Not me. Your government did that.
You caused it.
They gave you a new life while my father died in a cell.
Now, it's your turn.
Do you really think we should be going through Artie's bag?
Yes! Pete, unless you have a better idea! What other option do we have?
Okay. Okay. Two Mykas. This is going to be fun.
Hey, a compass. Maybe this is some sort of
homing device that always points to Artie.
No. No. That would be too easy.
Holy crap.
What does that do? It holds Artie's glasses.
Right. So I can understand your excitement.
But Artie always loses his glasses,
which is why Claudia rigged them so he could always find them.
Is this the receiver? No. He lost that weeks ago.
But I know someone who has one.
Good job.
You made it. Of course. I said I would.
People say a lot of things. They do, they do.
Hey, you don't drive an old El Camino, do you?
Me? No. It's Artie's, actually. I hardly ever...
Oh, screw it.
What the hell is that? I'm asking the questions here.
Starting with who the hell are you?
Me? You don't exist.
You're six months old. Why were you spying on me?
I figured you out, man. Think you can use me to get into the Warehouse?
What do I care about an IRS warehouse?
I bet you're just as bad as MacPherson, you just want...
Wait, what? Who's MacPherson?
You think it's an IRS warehouse? Isn't it?
Or, ha, is that just your cover working for John Conti?
John Conti? Who the hell is John...
Wait, John Conti the mobster?
Dude, I don't work for him.
Then what the hell is going on?
Oh, Todd, you're in trouble.
Trying hard not to be. Was the Marshal right?
Am I a dead guy?
No, no, of course not. You're...
Jinkies.
You're in the Witness Protection Program, aren't you?
Man, you didn't know that? No.
Man, how the hell did you get yourself into the program?
I was just an IT guy Conti hired to recover a hard drive.
I saw some files I wasn't supposed to and all of a sudden
I'm living in this weird town in South Dakota.
I wanted to tell you but I couldn't.
And that... That guy I saw you with was...
My handler. He's pretty pissed at me right now.
I wasn't supposed to get close to anybody,
let alone fall in love with them.
Wait a second, back that up.
Okay, love is a really strong word.
No, no, no. Further back.
You mean you really are a techie after all?
Monster. Dude.
The light is flashing. He should be right here.
I guess he was.
This way.
Oh, my God, you've got the jacks.
So killing those men, the list of my family, that was for what?
Just to get me here?
Ivan, no.
Don't. Don't use that.
It doesn't just affect victims.
Whoever uses it, it infects your soul.
It steals your humanity and the longer you have it,
the more like Torquemada you become.
Good. That will make this easier.
Okay, where now?
You guys take this corridor. I'll go this way.
Just come help me with this door.
Why didn't you just yell, "Here we come"?
Hey.
Be careful. Pete!
What? Come on.
Artie. Artie!
Oh, come on!
There's got to be another way!
What? What? What are you...
It's okay.
Don't. No. Behind you!
It's okay.
You don't need to do this.
It takes a few minutes.
I want to watch you watch your friend die.
Let her die. Who cares?
Means nothing to me.
This woman who risks her life to save yours?
I see it's still very hazardous to be your friend.
There's no time.
What are you doing?
Okay. Let's see what this thing does.
Okay and go. And activate!
Fire! Come on!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, it's a reflex hammer, right?
Sure. Okay, well.
Now that's cool. Let's go. Yeah.
Why? Ivan, why? What's the point?
What are you going to do? You're just going to kill people
who have absolutely nothing to do with this?
Don't worry. Don't worry.
Her death will be quick.
Not yours.
Take this. Hold this tight.
It's the only thing that will reverse it.
Hold it tight.
You'll be all right. You all right?
Yeah, that was a good shot, by the way.
Unless you were shooting at Ivan.
If I'd shot him, you'd still be chained there
and I would have frozen to death.
That was good thinking. You're going to be all right.
You'll be all right.
Well, that wasn't so hard.
Say it again.
Come on.
Please. For me.
My preferred method of hacking is to use an integrated secure toolkit
applied to a safe-type concurrent algorithm,
derived from an active binary work cluster
embedded in a synchronized meta-level high-speed architecture.
I love it when you talk tech.
He's going to be here soon. This sucks.
We can finally talk. I finally feel like I'm getting to know you.
Suckity, suckity, suck, suck, suck.
Sorry. My handlers are just too freaked.
Think I'll be safer someplace else.
But hey, if I live to testify, I'll come back.
Now that's an interesting brush-off.
I could always just send Conti into an inter-dimensional space.
What's that? Tell you later.
Not fair.
Todd, time to go.
You know I'll find you.
You better.
How could you? You turned her in!
You handed her over to the Regents
without even considering that she might be a valuable asset. And...
What makes you think that this was his decision, Agent Bering?
Do you seriously believe that there's not a thorough and complete vetting process
by which the Agents of Warehouse 13 are selected?
Mrs. Frederic recommends, Regents discuss,
and I make the final decision.
Artie, so who's this guy now?
Mr. Kosan, Agent Lattimer, Agent Bering.
Adwin Kosan is on a need-to-know basis
and you don't need to know.
You make the decisions.
Some of them, yes.
We have to trust that Mr. Kosan will make the right choice.
The choice has been made.
Has she been bronzed then?
Miss Wells.
This is thanks in no small part to Agent Bering's report.
Agent Bering's report?
I tried to tell you but I...
In conjunction with our findings,
H.G. Wells is to be fully reinstated as a Warehouse agent.
She's convinced the Regents that she's no longer a threat, but an asset.
Welcome home, Agent Wells.
Thank you, sir.
Agent Wells.
Reinstated?
Be it ever so humble.
Thank you. Without you I wouldn't be here.
Well, I would but I'd be in bronze.
Welcome to the team, I guess. Yeah.
Thank you.
No.
This is wrong.
Artie.
This is wrong!
Artie! Artie?
Artie, wait! Artie, wait! Artie, don't you dare just walk away.
We went to Russia so we could right the wrongs from your past.
Don't you think that H.G. Deserves the same chance?
What are you saying, that she's just like me? You're wrong.
She's nothing like me.
And no matter how much good she's done for all of us,
I'll never trust that woman.
But if the Regents are sure, don't you think you should be...
Oh, now you want to know what I think.
I think I'm going to regret not letting her freeze to death,
but by then it'll be too late for all of us.
Previously on warehouse 13...
Rebecca St. Clair?
You found Jack.
You weren't just his girlfriend.
You're a Warehouse agent.
I always knew if we didn't quit,
one of us, one day, would lose the other.
One last thing that you might be interested in seeing.
"Together forever."
I guess Jack chose you over the Warehouse after all.
It says that the de-bronze function was activated twice.
Who's our mystery guest?
Pete, Artie says that H.G. Wells is actually...
A woman.
I was apprenticed at Warehouse 12.
My daughter, Christina, had been murdered.
Everything that ever mattered in my life is gone now,
except the Warehouse.
I want to come back and work there again.
She is nothing like me. I'll never trust that woman.
H.G. Wells is to be fully reinstated as a Warehouse agent.
What are you doing here?
No!
Ugh!
Do I make you nervous, darling?
No. Not nervous. Why would you make me nervous?
You're part of the team now and not evil.
Artie. Good. Morning. Good morning, Artie.
Why is no one here? I'm here.
Congratulations, we'll have a gold star delivered to your room.
- Where are the others? - Right here.
Hey, guys. Claude, did you drop something?
Uh, yeah, I just had a little slippery fingers.
I make her nervous.
Claude, there's no need for you to be nervous.
I'm not, I wasn't. Jeez.
It's okay. There will be a period of adjustment.
Although, I have already earned a gold star.
Why does she get a gold star? She doesn't.
Let's talk about your next assignment.
Shouldn't there be some sort of orientation for H. G?
It's not necessary.
Let's not make a fuss.
Yeah, you already got a gold star.
There is no gold star, there won't be orientation.
It's bad enough she's here at all.
Can we just try to get through this?
Well, now I'm nervous.
Why do things have to change because of her?
I mean, if we're moving to a gold star system...
Excuse me.
Rebecca?
Are you kids still in the artifact finding business?
Jonah Ross, 82, local English teacher.
Died of natural causes.
A friend of yours? Hardly.
Jonah Ross was actually Jonah Raitt.
In 1961, he was an editor of Where & When magazine.
He killed three of his secretaries.
And his wife.
He used an artifact that altered their body chemistry.
Skin, bone, muscle, blood.
Turned them all to glass.
Jack and I never found him or the artifact.
Two of the women died before we got on the glass girl case.
We could have saved Raitt's wife and Roxanne Crane.
But Raitt did something to us.
We had no memory the entire day they were killed.
Then he disappeared.
All those years, Raitt and I were living in the same city.
I went to his address to I.D. And retrieve the artifact, but...
You didn't find anything.
He wrote this obituary himself. Read the last line.
"If you're still out there, Jack and Rebecca, thanks for my life."
You think he was taunting you?
He was a cruel son of a bitch.
The artifact is still out there and in play.
No one else should die because I couldn't crack down on this.
We need to find it.
All right, I'll go to St. Louis.
I'll check out the house again.
Claudia, forward me the info. I could use the field time.
Uh, Artie, you don't want us to go?
No, I got this. It's getting a little crowded around here.
Artie, I'd like to come with you.
Fine.
We'll find it.
You say you both blacked out?
Apparently, Jack and I went about our lives.
We just couldn't remember it.
We assumed that Jonah caused it.
Was it 24 hours exactly?
No, it was 22 hours and 19 minutes.
I'm very observant. Why?
I don't care if it is the H.G. Wells section,
what the hell are we doing down here?
Why does it matter that it was 22 hours and 19 minutes?
What does it mean?
It means someone used my time machine.
It's not a vehicle like in my novel.
Physical time travel is an impossibility.
Okay, so it's not a time machine?
It's a temporal consciousness transfer engine.
A means to traverse the space time continuum using one's mind.
So it is a time machine?
Not exactly.
I'd become intrigued by the idea of Gestalt,
the collective unconscious.
What if one were able to connect with the mind
of someone who lived centuries ago?
It happens randomly in nature.
Past life experience.
Oh, right, right.
Like Russell Crowe was a Tasmanian convict in the 1800s.
I read it online.
My machine allows your mind to inhabit the body of someone in the past.
See what they see, feel what they feel.
Live a day in history.
And you've done it? You've actually travelled through time?
Ah, that must have been so awesome.
No, not really.
Okay, so, uh, what about the person, you know, possessed?
They black out
for 22 hours and 19 minutes.
That's how long the trip lasts.
Never could work out why.
Are you saying that someone used, or will use, this machine
to inhabit Jack and me in 1961?
It would explain your losing time.
Hey, this doesn't look like it belongs here.
You might want to take a look at this.
"Dear Charlie, do me a favor
"and put this in the H. G. Wells storage area.
"I won't ask about it, don't bring it up. Trust me. Jack."
That's not Jack's handwriting.
I know. It's mine.
Hey, I'm... I'm ready.
Yeah, uh, listen, you don't really have to tag along.
I know. I just thought it would be nice if we could spend some time together.
Maybe after we find the artifact,
go for dinner and a movie.
Really?
No.
Is this really how it's going to be?
I don't know what you're talking about.
You can't keep freezing me out because I supported Helena joining the Warehouse.
Oh, it's Helena now, is it? If it's all right with you,
I'll just keep calling her the villain.
Artie, you're being childish.
Do you know what it takes to keep a Warehouse agent alive?
Myka, trusting the agent beside you has your back.
I couldn't trust McPherson, could I? Could I?
He's the one who let H.G. Out.
How the hell am I supposed to trust her?
Helena has proven more than once that she has my back.
I thought I'd proven that I had yours.
You know what? On second thought,
I'll just handle this one on my own.
So, Artie decided to
check out Raitt's apartment on his own.
What?
I know this is going to sound nuts.
I'm sure you're sitting there,
arms folded, twirling your hair, biting your lip,
not wanting to believe this, but...
I'm you. I'm Myka. Inside Rebecca.
Well, your mind, anyway.
We've traveled back through time.
I'm Pete. Hi, Pete.
Hi, me.
I can't believe this. This... This isn't possible.
We don't have a lot of time. Can you be serious?
Don't give Rebecca back her body all tensed up like that.
Pete. Focus.
Yoink. It is you guys.
Listen, Myka. Pete is going to try to convince you
to use the time machine to travel back to 1961 to identify an artifact.
It's okay. Pete's actually right for a change.
And Pete, Get your ass to Mars.
Get your ass to Mars.
Mars. Like Total Recall.
Oh, I love that movie.
Okay, we're done.
Oh, there's one last thing you need to know before you get here.
The artifact is a...
Hey, are you okay?
It's just seeing Jack again.
Um, well, what about the butterfly effect?
You know, when you step on a butterfly in the past, it changes the whole future.
No, I tried to change the past, I failed.
Look, it'll be strictly recon, right?
We'll go back, get eyes on the artifact and track it in the here and now.
Maybe we should wait for Artie.
Every moment you wait, it risks another person's life in the present.
Well, I did tell me to do it.
Oh, sweet. Pete and Myka's excellent adventure.
It's funny.
It was after this case that Jack and I fell in love.
It was the day we blacked out.
I woke up in an orchard and Jack was kissing me.
Our first kiss.
I was so surprised.
I mean, I always fancied him,
but he was always so mean to me.
All right, I hooked up the machine to the main power grid.
That's definitely enough juice for it to run the full day.
Okay. Whoa, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Out of curiosity, what happens to us if Jack and Rebecca bite it
while we're inside their bodies?
Hoping not.
I suspect your minds will be lost forever.
Hoping not.
Oh, good. Just making sure it's as bad as I thought.
I couldn't change the past, but maybe you can.
So is there a big countdown?
Uh. No.
Okay.
The time machine set us on fire!
Pete!
Pete, it's okay. It's okay. Look.
We're in 1961.
Uh-huh.
Myka,
check it out. We're...
Jack and Rebecca.
I was going to say still hot, but, yes, that too.
My God.
Are we done fixing our hair and makeup, ladies?
Who's the old goat?
Charlie Martin. He's our Artie.
You think this is a good place to catch 40 winks?
Uh, no, Sir. No. You're right, Charlie.
It's not her fault.
See, I had kind of a thing there. And it was...
Don't blame him, really. It's a rough morning for both of us.
Sorry, Rebecca.
Rough morning.
Maybe you should take the rest of the day off.
Or maybe you should get back to work.
We're very sorry, Mr. Martin, sir.
We'll just get back to work.
Yes, we're sorry.
Sir, thank you.
Sir?
Mr. Martin. What is this? What's going on?
You two don't cover for each other.
You're mean to each other. What gives?
Ah, yes. Right.
The meanness...
Jerk. ...we have for each other.
Hate you.
I need you in Calcutta. You're off the glass girl case.
Wait a minute, what? What?
- What do you mean? - Not a discussion.
Gus is getting close to Man Ray's camera, I need you on that.
If another glass girl turns up, we'll get back into it.
Look, this comes directly from Mrs. Frederic.
So, if you want to piss her off
and have her give you that stare, go ahead.
Lady terrifies me.
Look, Charlie, all we need is one more day.
I've already got a job lined up at the magazine,
and Jack is going to talk to Raitt's wife.
I am? Yes.
It was in Rebecca's... My...
My file.
If we don't find anything, then Calcutta.
Fine. 24 hours. No more.
Oh, Charlie, we're going to need everything that you can find on Jonah Raitt.
Of course, Rebecca. Anything you need.
After all I'm your secretary, right?
I really don't like him.
He's a bit of a sphincter. Mmm-hmm.
I'm going to go interview Raitt's wife.
I'll meet you back at the magazine, okay?
Unbelievable.
I know. Steaks for a dollar.
No, no, I mean...
No, no, no. I know what you mean,
but a dollar!
What... What, hey, hey. What?
I want you to be careful in there, okay?
If he's got an artifact in his office,
just get eyes on it. Don't engage.
He's obviously a nut bar.
I'll be fine. When you talk to Mrs. Raitt,
just remember, it's 1961, okay?
Women slap men when they get fresh.
Huh? What?
I am a capable woman.
You are just a tape recorder.
You...
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no!
First day?
Yeah.
Roxanne.
Thank you for your time, Mrs. Raitt.
The Secret Service, that must be so exciting.
Well, it has its moments.
Well, if the President's coming, it's a good thing
you're making sure the neighborhood is safe.
It's just a precaution.
Can't be too careful.
Isn't that true?
You know, we voted for him.
There was something about that Nixon I just didn't trust.
Good call.
So, is there anything new around here?
Something your husband may have brought home from the office?
He killed his three secretaries.
And his wife.
Are you all right? Yeah.
I mean yes, ma'am.
Four women murdered cruelly and unnaturally.
I just... I had a feeling.
You look so happy in that photo.
Agent Secord, does the president have reason
to be concerned about my marriage?
No. No, Ma'am.
No reason.
Thank you so much.
You know, I really like your bracelet.
Thanks. It was a gift.
From whom?
Was there someone that you're...
Ladies.
This is a place of business,
not a sewing circle.
Certainly, Mr. Raitt.
How can you tell if, um...
Oh, uh,
it, uh, uses a lot of power.
But don't worry, the Warehouse can take it.
Not the Warehouse I'm worried about.
I hate this. I was talking to Beth and I kept thinking,
"You have no idea that you're going to die today. Today."
I mean, how is that fair? It's not.
Rebecca, you seem to have gotten the hang of that dictation.
You're practically a natural.
Oh, no, not really.
I'm going to be leaving for the day.
Goodnight, Roxanne, I'll see you in the morning.
Yes. In the morning.
Have a good night, Mr. Raitt.
Well, I should probably call it a night.
Good night.
She's lying. They both are.
They're obviously meeting up tonight.
Do people not know how to lie in 1961?
That's the Roxanne, the next victim.
We can't think of her like that.
How can we not? That guy is going to kill her and his wife.
There's nothing that we can do.
Recon only. The timeline.
Screw the timeline, okay?
I'm going after Raitt. You stay here and search his office.
Maybe he stashed the artifact.
Pete, no! You can't!
Sweetheart, I am going to need these
collated and filed by the end of business today.
Thanks, honey.
Honey? Sweetheart? Listen, bub, I...
Pete?
There. That ought to be enough to stabilize it,
at least until the fluctuations...
Claudia. What's this?
Artie, hey.
What are you doing here?
Well, there was nothing at Raitt's apartment.
What are you doing here?
Well, we had a power
issue because of this...
It's a funny story.
Oh, my God.
What happened? Are you all right?
Yes. Yes. I'm fine. Just a little bit dizzy.
Hold on. I'll get you some water, all right?
Nice work, Miss Streep.
Next time, let's try it with an accent.
I just didn't want Artie to...
Martinis.
Thank you.
Hey.
Jackie O, huh?
Who?
Uh...
Jackie Kennedy.
I mean like, "Oh, wow, she's foxy."
What do you got there?
I mean, look at this, it's a relic.
This stuff was outdated in the '50's.
Yeah, I'm more of a Sports Illustrated guy myself.
Better. Yeah.
Of course, if you ask me, they could stand to spice to things up a little bit.
Add a little cheesecake,
and maybe have a swimsuit issue.
Got an eye for the ladies, huh?
I do.
You know, they say that God made us in his image.
It makes me think that God must be a woman.
I mean, look at her.
She's stunning, right?
But this magazine, it does its best to make her seem dull.
She should be admired,
like a work of art.
Go back to Pete and Myka.
Are you sure you're okay?
I'm fine. I'm fine.
No more sniffing glue, young lady.
Hey.
Um, Rebecca,
I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry.
Just a little bit too much excitement for this old gal.
It's very ungentlemanly to rifle through a lady's handbag.
Well, when you collapsed, I wanted to check
to see if you were taking any medication,
and I had to look up Erlop...
Erlotinib.
You know, in a way, I'm lucky.
Most Warehouse agents don't usually live long enough to die of cancer.
What kind of prognosis...
Grim.
And that's optimistic.
You know, I always said
I'd find that artifact if it was the last thing I did.
Rebecca,
we'll find it.
It was nice talking to you.
You too.
Cigarette, sir?
Uh, no thanks.
Myka? Hello.
What are you doing here? This is a gentlemen's only club.
Well, interestingly enough, if you're wearing one of these outfits,
nobody bothers to look at your face.
Look, don't try and talk me out of this, okay?
Raitt's our guy. He's been talking about turning women into art.
Pete.
Oh, great, he's gone.
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
Do you know where Jonah Raitt went?
Oh, I'm sorry, sir. He just drove off.
Damn it. Good work, Myka.
Forget trying to stop him. How are we supposed to I.D. The artifact now?
Give me the Farnsworth.
So nice of both of you to check in. I'm touched.
You need to quit smoking, man.
Charlie, did you get any of that information on Raitt I asked you for?
It was the highlight of my day.
Well, were there any hotel receipts?
What? Hotel?
Oh, right.
Because the dude's stepping out on his wife, then...
He's not inviting them home.
Wrong again, Rebecca. He is inviting them home.
Wait, come again?
Raitt took a deduction last year on a second residence.
A one-bedroom at 15 Hoover Street.
Must be a side pad where he engages in sexual congress
with his secretaries.
And Rebecca, nice catch.
You're teacher's pet in every decade, aren't you?
The file said that Roxanne was killed on Hoover Street.
Let's go.
She's going to be fine, Claudia.
I assure you.
So, where'd you go when you used your time machine?
Uh, mani-pedies with Cleopatra?
Snog with Casanova?
Paris, 1899.
Why?
That's, um... That's where I'd arranged for
my daughter Christina to spend the summer with cousins.
I was away a great deal. A single working mother, to use today's parlance.
One day, Christina awoke with a fever.
Sophie, the housekeeper, had her stay in bed.
Um, the men who came to rob my cousin's home were expecting an empty house.
Sophie tried to fight them, but there were too many.
She survived but, um,
Christina...
Sophie had no recollection of the 22 hours and 19 minutes
during which the incident occurred.
And when one of the thieves was finally captured,
he described how Sophie had fought
using Kempo, a fighting style that I favored,
and I began to suspect... I knew.
I just knew that somehow, I had travelled back in time and become Sophie.
Eventually I constructed the machine,
determined to alter the course of events.
But the ink with which our lives are inscribed is indelible.
I imagine
losing a child is the worst pain a person can go through.
No, actually.
When I tracked them down,
what I did to the men who killed my daughter,
that's the most pain a person can go through.
Roxanne.
Jeepers. You scared the life out of me.
Roxanne, you're in danger.
Danger?
Rebecca, what are you doing here?
We know what's going on between you and Raitt.
I have to go.
No. Listen to me!
Pete! Pete, look at me. Just don't do this.
No. I'm not going to let her die, Myka.
Pete, you know that you can't stop this!
Roxanne, wait!
What are you doing here?
No!
I know you.
You were at the club.
Are you following me?
My God.
That's Roxanne's bracelet.
What happened?
Look, we can't explain this, but...
She's dead. We're sorry.
It's not him. Raitt's not our guy.
And we don't have much time to find out who is.
All right, first thing that we need to do
is reanalyze the data.
This place still does that, huh?
Yeah.
Artie, what are you doing?
Oh.
There's a power clot in one of the secure storage sectors.
It's probably nothing. I'll flush it out.
Send down a micro-pulse.
Artie, no!
The connection's holding, but something's just completely burnt out
the reintegration wiring.
Which means what?
I can't bring them back.
When Jack and Rebecca awaken, Pete and Myka will be lost forever.
The power level's dropping!
Well, it's overheating.
We need something to cool it down.
On it!
Whatever you're doing to my people,
it stops now.
Myka. Myka, are you okay?
Oh, God.
What the hell was that? I don't know.
Do you... Do you think something went wrong?
Oh, Roxanne.
What did this?
Look, Raitt,
you need to tell us what you know.
Who would want to hurt them?
I don't know how something like this...
What do you mean them?
Meredith and Ruth. The two other women who worked for your company.
No. I got a note from them. They're in Los Angeles for research.
They never left that note.
So this...
This happened to them too?
Look, I know this is a shock, but you were sleeping with these women.
Now, who would want to hurt them?
I wasn't sleeping with them!
I was trying to take over the magazine.
I was trying to get rid of the publisher
and take control of Where & When myself.
It needs artistic vision and independent thinking.
So they were helping you?
Yeah. They were completely undervalued by that company
and capable of so much more.
What, do you think someone found out and was trying to stop us?
No. No. But we need to get to Beth. We think she might be next.
My wife? Look, she has nothing to do with this.
How do you even know that?
I can't tell you, but just trust me, we've got to get there now.
You touch my wife, I swear to God...
Artie? What are you doing?
She's killing them.
I tried to explain that this is a form of time travel.
Time travel's a physical impossibility.
No. We know. This works on your mind.
So does she.
Artie pulsed the system. That's what burnt out the wiring.
I wouldn't have pulsed the system if I knew what you were doing.
If we'd have asked, you'd have said no.
You bet your ass I would have said no!
Claudia, this is not your fault. You see the best in people.
People like her take advantage of people like you.
I'm not quite so naive.
Am I naive?
I asked them to do this.
If you're going to shoot the one responsible, fire away.
If we don't fix this,
we'll lose them.
They'll die.
Stand over me. Watch my every move.
But let me save them.
And if they die, I won't bother re-bronzing you.
What do you need?
A new power source, quickly.
Beth? Beth, are you here?
Look, don't worry, we'll find her. Pete... I mean...
I mean Jack is looking outside.
If she's not here, that's good, right?
Why is that good, Jonah?
Oh, my God! Thank God you're all right.
We were so worried about you.
You shouldn't be.
I tried to make it so you'd never have to worry. Ever.
And we'd always be okay.
Listen, Beth, there's a terrible thing that's happened.
Meredith, Ruth, and Roxanne have been killed.
Hmm. So you went right out and got yourself another whore.
What?
I took care of the others, and you just bring another one around?
You killed those women?
I hoped you'd get the message.
Maybe I should've been more obvious.
Jonah!
Look, Beth, there's got to be another way, okay?
Or maybe there's been...
I think there's been some sort of misunderstanding.
You shoot your little ray gun there and hit my husband.
That's all I need to understand.
Maybe not all.
Ah!
Pete!
No! It has to stay in!
Pete, this is probably going to hurt!
It already does! Okay!
Come on!
Beth?
Pete! Pete!
Jonah?
I wish you'd loved me more.
Oh, Beth.
Those poor girls.
I wish you'd loved me less.
So this... This is why we made that movie to send to ourselves.
Because we knew we'd not only get eyes on the artifact,
but we'd actually snag it.
Yeah, but we can't take it back to the future, so what was the point?
What if we could get it back to the future?
What if we could hide it somewhere we knew would exist 50 years from now?
Somewhere safe, somewhere where only we could get to it.
Warehouse.
But, Pete, we still need to make that movie, and we're running out of time.
When are we not running out of time?
Well, where the hell are we going to find a camera? Huh?
99, would you believe the credenza?
Jonah,
I don't know how to explain this,
but you've got to run.
Run? Why?
Roxanne, the other women, now you're wife.
You're the prime suspect.
But you can tell the police that it was Beth and that I'm innocent.
We can't.
We won't be in town long enough to tell anyone anything.
Okay, so where am I supposed to go?
St. Louis.
You have to trust me. You'll be safe in St. Louis.
And we're sorry to have to ask you this, but we need a favor.
We need you to mail this movie.
It will clear your name someday.
Trust us.
Jonah,
good luck.
We're not going to have enough time to get the knife back.
How far are we from the warehouse?
We can make it.
They're not going to make it.
We're not going to make it. We should have mailed the knife too.
Are you kidding me? Do you remember the last time someone mailed an artifact?
Oh, right. Doctor Doomsday A Go-Go.
But...
Oh, God.
Are you okay?
Yeah, it's just the headaches are getting worse.
What if...
What?
Just a little bit of history repeating.
Rebecca said Jack kissed her under a tree in a cherry orchard.
This must be where they woke up.
We were coming here all along.
Should we just leave the knife with Jack and Rebecca?
Well, we can't. They won't know what it is when they wake up.
And they might think it's a letter opener and glass themselves
paying the electric bill.
How about... How about right here?
Okay.
Here? Okay. Yeah.
We should have just enough time to get them back.
If this works.
The power's not transferring. I don't know what else to do.
Pete, what are you doing?
Rebecca spent her whole life blaming herself because she couldn't find the artifact.
If I can tell her where it is, then...
Pete, it won't work. It never works.
The past can't change. Yeah, and neither can I.
Back in the old days, when things didn't work...
Mine too. Works for me.
Can't you see we have to keep trying?
If we just accept fate, then we're not better than...
Are we back?
Are we in deep doo-doo?
Oh, more than you can imagine.
Oh, no, man. I dropped the note.
You guys look freaked out. Did... Did something happen?
No. No.
Did you see the artifact?
Not only did we see it, we know where it is.
It's safe.
Were you able to save any of those women?
Well, I guess you can't change the past
no matter how hard you try.
That machine.
Does it still work?
Don't tell us you want us to go back and get another artifact.
No.
But I would like to see Jack again.
One more time.
Well, the circuitry's severely damaged,
and the trip wouldn't last more than a few moments.
I wouldn't be able to bring you back.
Why would I want to come back?
Hey.
So, Pete recovered the knife.
Good.
Turns out that artifact was the basis of the Cinderella story.
Only, instead of how in the story,
a young girl meets a handsome prince who gives her a glass slipper,
Cinderella used the knife to...
Let's just say they tend to re-edit these things for children.
We like things simple when we're kids.
Black and white. Good and evil.
Sometimes I wish things still were that simple.
She did good, didn't she?
Rebecca? Yeah. She did real good.
No, I meant, you know,
Helena.
Yeah.
And so did you.
Becks?
Where the hell are we?
It's okay.
We're all right.
The last thing I remember, I was sitting in the Warehouse and...
It doesn't matter.
Jack, I missed you so much.
Missed me?
Jack, what are you doing?
What I should have done a long time ago.
Previously on Warehouse 13...
Mrs. Frederic has a connection to the Warehouse
that even I don't fully understand.
This is Benedict Valda.
He's one of the Regents.
Paris, 1899.
That's where I'd arranged for
my daughter Christina to spend the summer with cousins.
The men who came to rob my cousin's home were expecting an empty house.
I imagine
losing a child is the worst pain a person can go through.
Your breakfast is served, my lady.
A banana?
That's what you made me for breakfast?
Well, it's actually half a banana
because I could only find one in the kitchen,
so we are going to split it.
You know, if we were back at my place,
I would have made you chilaquiles for breakfast.
In bed.
Oh, mi amore.
You know how I love your chilaquiles.
And your bed.
Maybe... Maybe it could be our bed.
Well, you know Artie's really strict about certain things.
You know, he likes to have all his agents living under one roof,
you know, just in case...
There's an IRS emergency?
Exactly. You get it.
Sure.
I got to get back to work anyway.
Okay.
Oh, no, you didn't.
Hey, get back here.
Hey!
So, what do you think?
About you moving in with Kelly?
Well, yeah. I mean, is it even kosher?
You know, Warehouse-wise?
Right. Forgot who I was asking.
What is that supposed to mean?
She's a tech nerd, she's 150, and you're Myka,
not exactly relationship success stories.
Hey, I just got out of a serious relationship.
You didn't get out. He had to change his identity and move to a different state.
By order of the Justice Department.
Point taken.
I know a thing or two about the opposite sex.
Many of my lovers were men.
We're going to follow up on that at a later date.
But for now, can we bring the focus back around to moi.
Okay, Pete, you just have to ask yourself one question.
I know, do I enjoy being yelled at in espanol?
Do you love her?
Yeah.
I think so.
I don't know.
Okay, you're out to a restaurant, you order dessert.
The waitress cuts it in half.
One side is a little bit bigger than the other.
Which half do you give her?
Well, the bigger half, of course, because otherwise...
Oh. Dude, you're screwed.
You love her. What?
- No. Shut... MRS. - You're in love.
Oh, hi. Mrs. F.
Yeah, well,
apparently, based on a dessert, I guess.
I don't know. Me and the ladies were just...
Me and the ladies were just, you know, talking about a personal thing
that I have. Not that you would ever...
You know...
If it's cool, I'd just like to keep my personal stuff,
personal. Nothing personal,
I mean, you know, to you, but can I go now?
One, Agent Lattimer.
One what?
Singular sensation?
Is the Ioneliest number?
You are allowed to reveal the true nature of our work to one person.
So the question is not whether you should live with Dr. Hernandez,
but rather, is she your one?
Man, it's good to be out of that desert and back amongst the living, huh?
You know what? I might start a harem.
How many girls are there in a harem?
Uh, three.
Hold up, I finally got a signal.
Dude, no phone calls.
Chill out. I'm just texting a pic back to my sister.
Yeah, well, no one's supposed to know that we're here.
She's eight. Who's she going to tell?
John, you know the deal. Don't screw this up for us just before...
You okay, bro?
Yeah, I just suddenly got real thirsty.
You look kind of weird, man.
Terry!
Dude, what's wrong?
Dry. Dry.
Somebody help us!
Oh, my God, Rod!
We have to do something!
Mrs. F. Oh, my God, are you okay?
Hey, guys, I need help in here!
What?
Mrs. Frederic?
What happened?
One minute we were just talking and then...
Mooht pooh khesfet.
- Mooht pooh khesfet. - Mooht pooh khesfet.
I do not speak gibberish, Agent Lattimer.
Okay. Well, not so much gibberish as...
Creepy, spooky, blah, blah.
No, she's right. It wasn't gibberish.
It was one phrase that you repeated over and over.
"Mooht pooh khesfet. " It sounds Middle Eastern in origin.
Maybe Aramaic or an old form of Hebrew.
It's demotic. The tongue of ancient Egypt.
Dead languages are a hobby.
So, what does it mean?
Well, I'm not sure. It's been a while.
According to the translation program I get...
"The penalty is death."
What? What did you set it on, extra scary?
To the best of my knowledge, I do not speak demotic,
so what artifacts do we have from Egypt?
Already on it. Maybe it was dementia...
That caused me to say that.
We'll just keep going through the manifest until we find the artifact...
Holy synchronicity, Batman.
We just got a ping from Egypt.
What is it?
Nothing good.
Thanks so much for talking to us about your son, Mrs. Tilson.
We're very sorry to have to ask you these questions.
We know how difficult this must be.
So, the body they found...
They're sure then that it was my John?
I'm afraid so, ma'am.
See, this doesn't make any sense.
John couldn't have been in Egypt.
John and his friends, they were working at an archeological dig in Peru.
Peru? Yes.
He e-mailed me from there last week.
That's why this is insane.
So, he didn't say anything about going to Egypt?
No.
Oh, God.
I should call Terry and Rod's parents.
Maybe they...
What happened to our children?
Ma'am, we promise you, we'll find out.
Hello.
You're John's little sister, aren't you?
That's a very lovely photo, isn't it?
They look very happy.
May I?
Well, he's very handsome, isn't he?
And who's that lovely little girl standing next to him?
Gabrielle.
But everyone calls me Gabby.
Hello, Gabby. Pleased to meet you.
My name's Helena.
I've got a little girl, you know,
about your age.
Does she talk like you do?
She does.
May I have a look at your computer, please?
That's your brother there, isn't it?
Myka.
John's little sister had the picture, but she didn't know where he was.
Why he suddenly left an archeological dig in Peru
to go to Egypt is still a mystery.
He sent her this photo.
It can't be, can it?
Don't make me ask.
That would explain a great deal.
Claudia, that image, print it out right now.
Return with your team immediately.
Okay, but what do I tell...
We have to confirm this.
I'm this close to asking.
The ancient archives.
Go.
Yeah, bring the print.
I hate myself for doing this.
What are the ancient archives?
Photo.
Artie, what does it mean?
The hieroglyphics in this photo match the markings right here,
and it translates as,
"An oasis between sand and sea."
What does that mean?
It means that someone has found the lost Warehouse.
Someone's found Warehouse 2?
How do you lose a Warehouse?
It was always believed to be somewhere near Alexandria.
Back when the Romans were conquering Egypt in 30 BCE...
Thirty-one. They had...
They had very little time to shut down Warehouse 2,
transfer the artifacts, so the agents at the time buried it.
Over time it was lost to the ages.
I don't buy that our three young Indiana Joneses
just stumbled into it for a school project.
Neither do I.
It is rather unlikely.
I think they must have broken the seal on the door,
and that activated...
A defense mechanism.
And that's what caused them later to desiccate.
Which is when Warehouse 2 woke up.
Woke up? You guys talk about it like it's alive.
Surely you know by now, Agent Lattimer, the Warehouse is more organic
than your average structure.
Warehouse 2 is back online?
So it would appear.
It still don't understand why it's affecting you.
When Warehouse 2 woke up, it began to look for its caretaker,
but its caretaker had been dead for 2,000 years.
So, it found the caretaker to the current Warehouse.
And that's you? You're the caretaker?
Yes.
Each Warehouse has a unique bond with the caretaker,
and now that bond is being shared between two Warehouses.
That was never supposed to happen.
Two networks, one server.
My mind cannot take the level of data being,
as Miss Donovan put it, downloaded.
Eventually, it will overload.
And by overload, you mean...
There is another difficulty.
As Warehouse 2 continues to eclipse my bond,
Warehouse 13 will
begin to... To die.
So, we need to find Warehouse 2 and shut it down.
I'll call the Regents.
They will send an expert to meet you in Egypt
who will help you with Warehouse 2.
Don't worry, Mrs. F.
We got this.
Agent Lattimer, this is unlike anything you've ever faced.
So, like always then.
He said he'd be wearing a Panama hat.
That guy's got Regent written all over him.
That, or "mug me" a little, too.
That would be a mistake.
The man who tried to pick my pocket would soon wish he hadn't.
Mr. Valda,
you're the expert on Warehouse 2?
I am,
and if Agent Lattimer here can refrain from trying to kill me,
we may even survive this.
How did anyone ever find this desolate place?
Somehow those kids did.
Looks like they planned on coming back here.
They didn't plan on dying.
John's sister, Gabby.
Your Christina was about the same age.
Yes, she was.
Where on earth did they get this?
Maybe they thought they were going to get rich?
Instead, they got a deadly face full of hematite and natron.
Basically, they were mummified alive.
But that's nothing compared to the challenges that await us within.
In Warehouse 2 mythology,
one phrase shows up over and over,
"Mind, body, soul."
What is that? A code?
When the security system was activated,
several traps came into play to ward off intruders.
Only fully trained agents at the time
knew their secrets and how to navigate them safely.
So, how does "mind, body, soul" help us?
That is for us to discover together.
Once at the center
we shut it down with this.
One of the only things that survived the burial of Warehouse 2.
Then once more unto the breach, dear friends.
I'll be right there. I got to make a call.
What?
I checked, this is what fashionable British archeologists
are wearing nowadays.
No, but it's what American filmmakers think
fashionable British archeologists are wearing nowadays.
Oh, really?
Well, it is ever so comfy.
Hi, this is Dr. Hernandez. Please leave me a message.
Hey, Kelly, hey. It's, um... It's me, Pete.
I'm sorry to call so late there,
but I'm about to go into...
A meeting, and it's going to be a tough meeting.
Lots of bad meeting stuff, you know?
So I... Just in case.
That I wanted to say that...
Well, I've been thinking about you and I living together,
and I think that...
Your time is up. Goodbye.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Oh, my God.
This looks like some kind of torture device.
It's a neural assessor.
It will monitor my brain waves and track the degree to which I'll be affected.
Yeah, her wave discharges have dropped considerably
and that indicates an increase in the effect of focal epileptiform activity,
and that means that...
We've got until this moon thingy scooches over to that doodad.
Yeah. When the moon eclipses, that will mean her brain has reached its...
Just keep an eye on the readout. Let me know if there are any changes.
Artie, changes! Changes!
Artie, we're at the entrance.
Valda's deactivating the booby trap on the hatch.
I'm neutralized the hematite.
The kids never made it past the entrance.
That's it.
Warehouse 2 sensed an intruder.
It's having an effect on Mrs. Frederic.
Valda says we're good to go. We're heading in.
Yeah, okay, go in, but be careful and hurry.
Mrs. Frederic doesn't have much time.
This totally blows the King Tut exhibit away.
What are we looking at?
I'm not sure.
That's not good.
And you were right.
Help me pry this open.
Nope. It's not going to be that easy.
Okay, mind, body, soul.
What if it's three clues instead of one?
Three different traps,
each one its own security device that needs to be deactivated.
Right. And this is the first one. Mind.
Yeah, as in I mind if this place flattens us like pancakes.
Okay, well, what if we used one of these posts to brace the ceiling.
No, no, no. Myka, Myka, Myka! Wait!
Pancakes.
Do you ever think about anything other than...
No, no, no! This is like a game I used to play at the Pancake House.
This is the only hole without a post, right?
A game of wits, a test of the mind?
No, a kid's puzzle.
Pete, how does it work?
Well, okay... We have to jump each post, like checkers,
but in a certain pattern until there's only one post left.
No, this is wrong!
I won free banana walnut pancakes every Sunday for a year.
They had to discontinue the contest.
Okay.
He knows his pancakes.
We got to take these out in order before the ceiling hits them.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
I'm just chasing down this money trail...
Moot-kher-tou. Moot-kher-tou.
Claudia, can you find out what that means?
Moot-kher-tou.
Artie,
she's saying, "One must die."
Moot-kher-tou.
Pete! Okay.
Okay, last one.
Come on.
Pete, all right?
It's getting faster.
Hurry.
Pete...
Nicely done.
Bravo.
That's right. Dig it.
Who solved the test of the mind?
Pete did!
Only because you order off the children's menu.
Somebody's buying me pancakes for a year.
Perhaps we're going to get through this mission after all.
Wow. This couldn't get any worse.
Thanks for that.
Okay, there has to be some way to shut this off.
Maybe... Maybe these hieroglyphs are some kind of instructions.
Oh, let's see...
Charlie Brown T-shirt,
hairy eyeball,
foot. It's Tahtib.
"The Art of the Way."
Isn't that the ancient Egyptian martial art?
Like karate.
This is the body puzzle.
So, maybe this is the way.
Okay, okay, that is definitely not the way!
That is impossible!
Artie?
Vanessa.
Oh. I am so glad that you're here.
Well, glad is hardly the word under the circumstances.
I know. I know. I know. It's good to see you, too.
I mean, it's not good to see you.
I know.
We're going to get through this.
Oh, yes. Claudia, this is Dr. Calder.
Dr. Calder... Oh, Vanessa?
Oh, well, I've heard a lot about you. A lot.
Nice.
Can we focus, please, on more important things?
Yes, of course. We'll talk later.
Will hell be freezing over?
Vanessa? Oh, sure.
There you go.
Maybe we should try and rise above this situation.
Think I know the way.
I like her "the way" better.
The grappler. Don't leave home without it.
Moot-kher-tou.
"One must die."
Shall we?
Okay.
The water bearer holds the key.
What does that mean?
Just take this.
Remember what I said.
Wait a minute, what? Aren't you coming?
I'm right behind you.
Go! Go on! Hurry!
All right, all right.
Use your feet.
Valda!
Hold on! I can make it back there.
No!
You come back, we both die.
Moot-kher-tou.
One must die.
This is as it must be.
Now go!
We're not just going to just leave you here!
I won't give you the choice.
No!
Why didn't he let us help him?
I don't know. He read something on the wall back there.
It looked like it scared him.
Can we even do this without him?
We have to.
Look, we should tell Artie. Let me call him.
It's not working.
Well, maybe we're too far underground.
It would seem we go this way next.
We have to keep going, Pete.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh. Dr. Calder.
Good.
You know why I'm here? I do.
Artie?
Your neuro functions are dropping.
Are you in pain?
Yes.
Claudia, something is happening to the team in Egypt.
Use my Farnsworth to try to get a hold of them.
Yeah, yeah.
Her connection with Warehouse 2 is getting stronger.
I can't get a hold of them.
I think maybe their Farnsworths are out of range.
I've got to check on something. I'll be back.
Wennen yefedu eem, ioo khemetoo eem.
What is that? What's she saying?
"Where once there were four,
"now there are three."
Loo hem senooi er tenem.
Come on. Come on.
"And two will lose their way."
Mummy?
Pete.
Kelly?
Myka.
Mummy?
Christina?
Myka? Myka?
What's happening?
Welcome back.
A large Americano with an extra shot and room.
My favorite.
Christina?
Is that really you?
It's you.
It's me. Right here.
No, I mean it's you.
You're the one.
You.
Here's your next case. It's a tough one.
Lots of details, exactly the kind of thing at which you excel.
I can't wait for you to tell me all about it.
I've got you.
I've got you, love.
And I'll never let you go.
I'm a secret service agent
working at a top-secret facility
hunting down mysterious artifacts all around the world,
and you are the only one that I've ever told.
It's okay.
I'll always be right here for you,
and I can keep your secret because I love you.
Now it seems like just a series of random accidents
there in Great Falls, Virginia...
Artie, what's that doing there?
What?
There's nothing there.
The exit sign, it's new.
Very observant. That's my girl.
Once you and Pete get to Great Falls...
- How do you do? - How do you do?
Such a pretty little girl.
Mummy.
Artie, why are you being so nice?
I'm always nice.
Ish.
You don't give compliments, and certainly not with a smile.
I'm getting more in touch with my feelings.
What's that exit sign doing there?
Well, come over here and I'll show you.
Come on.
Myka, come right over here.
Come on. Come here.
Come on. Come over here.
No, this isn't real.
This isn't real.
This isn't real!
Pete!
H. G!
Pete!
Wake up! Wake up!
Pete. Wait.
H. G! H.G., wake up!
Mummy.
Christina!
What did you do?
It's a soul test, okay? It tricked us.
It took us to our happiest place and made us feel secure
so we wouldn't notice...
It's the medusa.
The medusa!
Thanks.
It's Kelly.
What are you talking about?
She's the one.
Good. Yeah.
We should keep moving.
Helena?
Helena, are you all right?
My baby.
My little baby.
I'm so sorry.
It was so real.
Mrs. Frederic is dying.
If we don't do this, Warehouse 13 could die with her.
That's real, and we have a chance to save her.
Let's get this done. Okay.
We both know you must be prepared to do what you've got to do.
I know.
It doesn't mean I have to like it.
What do you have to do?
What is that?
Claudia, we all want Pete and Myka to succeed in Egypt...
And they will.
And if they don't, and if Mrs. Frederic dies
while she's still the caretaker, this Warehouse
will begin to close itself down.
If the Warehouse is to survive,
then a new caretaker must be in place
before I die and a new connection must be made at that moment.
A new connection?
With who?
Me?
Okay.
Flattering, but...
Um, why... Why me?
All of us have our purpose.
I'm really not ready for that.
You will be when the time comes. It's all part of the design.
Won't I just wind up getting my brain shredded, too?
Uh-uh. No.
When the connection with Warehouse 2 is broken,
Dr. Calder can take precautions.
Pete and Myka could still shut down Warehouse 2.
Yes. But there's not much time left.
Loo hem senooi er tenem.
The tests are over. We made it.
This must be the ancient Artie's office.
That's incredible.
What is that?
It's the only thing here that's on.
Yeah, not in a happy way.
It's probably safe to assume that's what's affecting Mrs. Frederic.
Wait.
Totally awesome.
My God.
Magnificent.
Okay, so how do we turn this orb off?
Well, this is the control center. Let's turn it upside down.
I should probably go down to the Warehouse
to see if there's a way to switch it off down there.
Myka, look at that.
Okay, it's a bunch of holes.
Maybe what Valda gave me fits into one of them.
Like a key.
That's what he said. A key.
Come on, Mrs. F, hang on.
We have to wait for Artie. He'll know what...
Claudia, we can't wait. It's time.
It's just another puzzle, Pete.
I'm sure we can figure it out.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
There's something about this that looks...
Maybe it's like the mind test.
We put the key in a series of holes in a specific sequence.
No, no. It's something about the pattern.
It's... That's it!
Myka, I know it.
I need your wrist, please.
Now, Claudia.
That's the night sky. I used to study it with my dad.
Those are stars. Look, there's the Big Dipper!
That's Pisces and that's Aquarius.
The water bearer.
And the water bearer holds the key.
Come on, Pete, you're almost there! Just one more inch.
You did it!
Wait!
Connection's broken.
They must have shut down Warehouse 2.
Yay!
Victory lap.
See? I knew they'd come through.
How do you feel?
Well, I won't be running a marathon anytime soon.
Yeah, no, certainly not in those heels.
Myka. Myka.
Thank you, Dad.
That's two I got, you know. I know.
You solved one and I solved two.
I know.
It's not a contest.
You're right. You're right. It's not a contest.
But if it were,
I'd be winning.
Myka, you have to see this!
Dr. Calder. Yeah?
I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to come off like a brat back there.
I know you were just trying to protect the Warehouse.
Oh, honey, it's all right.
Listen, you're very young.
You're entering a world that's vastly more mysterious
than any of us can understand.
I just want you to know, though, that you will be ready.
Remember that.
Tell Artie I said goodbye.
Okay.
Maybe you should be lying down.
Maybe you should brief me on what was happening while I was ill.
Ah, you found my little project.
I did. Tell me.
Okay. Well, something's been eating at me since we got the ping.
You know, those guys who were mummy-tized, they're college kids.
They're not rich, but they went to Egypt, they staged this huge dig.
It had to cost a chunk of change.
You think someone hired them to find and enter Warehouse 2?
Someone with long arms and deep pockets.
You know, I find the source, I find the bad guy.
Enterprising. I'm impressed, Miss Donovan.
And your research came up with something.
I got a ping? Yes, you got a ping.
That can't be right.
The money that was used to hire those students, it's from...
It's from Warehouse 13.
Where's Arthur?
I don't know.
He said he'd be right back, but that was hours ago.
H.G., guess who just saved the day?
Oh, it was actually... It was pretty amazing,
with the night sky and the...
There were all these holes, and they were actually...
Stars. And...
Helena?
I do hope you can forgive me.
For what?
This.
Previously on Warehouse 13...
Why am I having these headaches?
When MacPherson was part of your consciousness,
he may have left something behind.
Paris, 1899.
My daughter, Christina, had been murdered.
H.G. Wells is to be fully reinstated as a Warehouse agent.
Thank you, sir.
And no matter how much good she's done for all of us,
I'll never trust that woman.
Someone has found the lost Warehouse.
It was always believed to be somewhere near Alexandria.
Warehouse 2 is back online.
So, we need to find Warehouse 2 and shut it down.
- H. G! - Hey!
Guess who just saved the day?
Myka! Myka! Myka, come on!
Pete? Come on. Get up. We got to go.
Pete, where am I? Egypt, Warehouse 2,
and we are in big trouble. Big bump.
I know. I got one to match.
What's that sound? That's sand.
No, I'm sorry, scratch that. It's the whole freaking Sahara desert.
This place is filling up with sand, Myka.
All right, the way we came in is history.
I don't know, when H.G. Bolted, she must have triggered some kind
of self-preservation thing, something that protects the artifacts.
H.G., she played us. She played me.
Oh, big time. Oh, I'll kill her.
I'm going to kill her.
Myka. What?
Mmm. I get the whole anger thing, but could you please just channel it
into finding us a way out of here? Okay. Okay.
Our Warehouse, right? There's a backdoor... Yeah.
...in our Warehouse, so there must be one here, too.
Bingo. Right.
Pete, look, a hatch! What?
Whoo-hoo! Myka, you found a hatch! Yeah!
A hatch! Whoo!
100 feet up there, so not as good, but...
Well, it wouldn't be up there if there was no way to get to it.
Right. Right? So let's look
for something, you know?
Egyptian endless wonder. Right.
Yeah!
Okay, just keep searching the shelves.
Okay, there's got to be... There's got to be something.
I don't know, like a magic ladder or a catapult or something.
And go! And move! It's probably just a rug, Pete.
And fly!
Oh, my God! Pete, I'm looking at the 10 original books of Plato.
Is there a chapter on flying? Not that I remember.
Oh, oh, oh! What about... What about... What about a snake around a staff?
Isn't that a medical symbol?
Uh, that's probably the rod of Asclepius.
It's probably some sort of healing device.
Yes. We can definitely use this.
Or not. Pardon me, sir.
Pete, Pete, over here!
Whoa! Right?
Okay, these wings were probably designed by Daedalus. He was the father of...
Icarus. Ha! Even I know that one. Turn around.
What? Why me? You're the one that eats like a bird.
Well, just... Just don't get us too close to the sun, okay?
They smell.
Ooh!
Whoa!
These things actually attract wind.
Yeah, they generate their own lift.
Holy crap.
Whoa!
Can you imagine watching a Browns game like this?
Yeah. I bet that's exactly what Daedalus had in mind. Up.
Pete, up! Huh?
Oh! The hatch! Yeah!
Get it, get it, get it.
Okay, stop, stop. Yeah, yeah.
Pull.
It's stuck.
Well, yank it. Yank it hard.
Really? At a time like this? I'm sorry.
Oh! What? Oh, come on.
Pete, do you hear that? That's the Farnsworth.
It must be working again.
Okay, we must be high enough. Back pocket.
What? Okay. Yeah.
Ohhh!
Stop laughing. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Artie? Hi.
Myka, listen, H.G. Is a bad guy.
We know.
Pete, good, you're together.
Yeah, we always kind of thought we'd go out this way. Look, Artie,
Valda's dead. Warehouse 2 is filling with sand.
Artie, listen, I'm really sorry.
Tell Kelly that I love her. It's all my fault.
Tell her that... Shh. Shh.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes? That's the last thing he's going to say to us?
I always thought it would be a little more, you know, meaningful.
He didn't even say goodbye. I know.
Oh! Myka, hold on! Hold on!
Pete! Close your eyes!
Ah! I can't see! Oh, God.
The wings of Daedalus. Good call.
Don't just flap there. Come on out.
Here we come. Hold on.
Whoo!
Man, you have got to let me keep these.
Oh, right, because they worked out so well for Icarus.
Artie, who are you? Jerusalem Jones?
What? I just bought this.
So, how'd you find us?
I pinpointed the coordinates on your Farnsworth.
It's a good thing it started working again.
Yeah. They're designed to work deep underground,
but when I lost the signal, I realized that H. G. Had jammed it.
I knew you were in trouble. When I got here, I reset the frequency.
It was a piece of cake.
Finally! Listen, H.G. 's a bad guy.
We know!
Judging from the depth of her preparation, it seems obvious to me
that H.G. Wells has been planning this
for a long, and I mean a long time.
She hacked into the Warehouse account to fund those students.
Yes. And she discovered, somehow, the location of Warehouse 2,
even before she was bronzed.
Did MacPherson know that?
Yeah, but she needed experienced agents to get in there.
Well, she obviously wanted an artifact, but which one?
The place is filled with sand, Artie.
It's going to take months to dig out.
Artie, Artie, is there... Is there some kind
of inventory of Warehouse 2?
Yes.
For a time I had a cognitive connection to Warehouse 2.
Much of its inventory was downloaded into my mind.
Hell of a backup drive. Can you access it?
I can try. It's fading.
Tell me quickly what you remember of H. G.'s last position.
Myka and I were in the office
trying to figure out where the key went, right?
And then H.G. Ran to see if she could turn off the orb.
She went to the main floor.
Can you describe the area in which she was ultimately found?
Uh, there was... There was vases.
There was lots of clay pots and vases.
How can she spot what's missing? She's just that good?
Yes. Now, I assume that Warehouse 2
has an inventory system like ours.
Each item is labeled with a hieroglyph of Anubis.
If Anubis is sitting, then the item is in its proper place.
If Anubis is running...
Ah.
A rack of spears. One is missing.
What kind of spears? Missing spear,
labeled in any way? Yes.
Fading.
I can't tell you.
The image is gone.
Okay, no, Artie, this is progress.
Right? Now we know it's a spear. We don't know where she is, but...
Paris. I'm still tracking H.G.'s access to funds.
She just bought a ticket from Cairo to De Gaulle.
Why Paris? When Pete and Myka were in 1961,
H.G. Told me her daughter was murdered in Paris.
Okay, so she's returning to the scene of the crime.
Or that's where Christina's buried.
Maybe the spear has resurrection properties.
She wants to bring her daughter back from the dead?
I don't know about spears, but I can tell you
resurrection is a dangerous practice and always comes at a price.
Yeah. Look at Mickey Rourke.
So...
All right, Pete, Myka, you go to Paris.
Claudia, you try to find out exactly where Christina is buried.
I will do research on spears.
Mrs. Frederic...
Will just be Mrs. Frederic.
Hey, it's Kelly. Do you mind?
Sure, Pete, we've got nothing but time.
Kelly, hey, I was just going to call you.
What happened to you?
Two days ago we had a vague conversation about moving in together, and then...
Then you disappear. Ugh, Kelly, God,
I'm so sorry. You know, you must think
I'm the biggest jerk in the world.
Well, I went between that
and wondering if I should be calling hospitals.
No, no, no, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.
It's a long story. I had a sudden business trip.
Pete!
Look, Kelly, we got a lot to talk about.
Pete, you know, if you don't want to see me anymore, it's...
No, no. Kelly, look,
I love seeing you.
Okay? You're my happiest place on Earth.
You mean that?
I know it in my soul, okay? I just... I've got this one more trip,
and then I'm yours completely.
The minute you get back.
The second I get back.
And, Kelly, I love you.
Okay. I said it. Yes, I even said it first.
So go ahead, make fun.
I'm really glad you found someone, Pete.
You deserve it.
Okay, now I really feel like a girl.
Well, hike up your skirt, because we got a bad guy to catch.
Booyah!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hang back there, Pointer Sister.
Sorry, sorry. I thought... You know, handling some ancient spears would
trigger a notion, but...
Okay, well, I'm sorry to interrupt you
while you're handling your ancient spear,
but I found Christina's grave site.
Good. Did you let Pete and Myka know?
I texted them. They land at De Gaulle any minute.
All right.
Ahem. Um...
Artie, can I talk to you about something?
Will it make me feel old and uncomfortable?
Not this time.
All right, go on.
Okay. Um, when Dr. Vanessa was here trying to save Mrs. Frederic, she...
She said something that kind of scared me.
When it looked like Mrs. F might not make it, she said
that I should be ready.
Oh, and you want to know ready for what, hmm?
Actually, no. Er, I'm... I'm pretty sure I'm not ready.
I know that I might talk big sometimes, Artie, but I can't even
buy a wine cooler in this state,
so whatever you might have planned for me... Breathe, breathe, breathe.
You can do whenever you want.
You control your own destiny.
But she said it was... No, nothing has been decided.
Or will be decided without your complete consent.
You promise? With all my heart.
You'll live the life that you want. I'll make sure of that.
Thank you.
According to Claudia, the Cimetiere de Rennes
should be right around this corner.
H.G.'s probably already here. Good.
First time, shame on her. Second time, I'm bringing that bitch down.
I love it when you talk dirty. What?
Where's the cemetery? It has to be here. This is the address.
Excuse me, hi. Excuse me.
Do you speak English?
We're looking for the Cimetiere de Rennes.
Cimetiere de Rennes moved many years ago.
To where?
Ew.
What now?
Okay, look, if H.G. 's plan was to resurrect her daughter,
then she needed to arrange for the upkeep of her remains, right?
Which means there's an estate. And estates have lawyers.
French lawyer.
Mr. Sempe, thank you for taking this walk with me.
If you want to visit Christina Wells' resting place,
I can give you the address. You don't need me.
Oh, but I do.
I don't want to go all around Paris shooting people.
As my lawyer, you can give me full access.
Full access? I don't understand.
You don't have to understand.
You just need to sign whatever needs to be signed. And then what?
And then maybe I'll let you live.
You check the girl. I'll look for the lawyer.
Okay.
It's empty. He's gone.
She's in shock. Look, if H.G. Shot her
with the same gun that she used on us...
Then she's come and gone already.
Pete,
look.
I'm grateful she has been taken care of to my specifications.
I signed the papers. You can do whatever you want in here.
May I leave now?
In a moment.
Don't be rude.
Remove your shoes and step into this, please.
Madame, please, I'm just a simple lawyer. Not even a very good one.
Now would be nice.
What is it?
Primordial tar from Pitch Lake in Trinidad.
Don't really have time to explain what it does.
You wouldn't believe me, anyway.
I'm stuck.
You have no idea.
Help me! Help me!
No!
No, if you put water in it, it turns it into a tar pit.
Don't fight it, dude. That's what the wooly mammoths did.
Pete, H.G., she ran down there.
What on Earth was that?
Mr. Sempe, you mind waiting outside?
Happily.
This place is a labyrinth. She's gone.
Pete, would you mind...
What? You know, looking to see if Christina, if...
Ew! Yep. She's dead. Still really dead.
Okay.
Pete. Yeah?
H.G. Didn't even have the spear with her.
Yeah, but we don't even know how it works.
No, no, something... Something is wrong.
She took something. Something that's missing. The handle!
Are you sure there was a handle?
Yes. And the other one's right there.
Okay, if you can't see it, the ends have points.
Like arrows.
I've seen that shape before.
Where?
I don't know what it is, but I can't get it out of my head. Look.
MacPherson must have left an image of it inadvertently by the Pearl.
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's look at that shape
from different angles.
Now, what did Myka say? That the tips have points?
Like arrows. Like arrows. All right.
Like arrows.
Now, does this suggest any...
Mrs. Frederic, do you see?
See what?
It's not a spear. It's...
The Minoan Trident.
So, a bad thing.
What's the Minoan Trident?
A weapon of mass destruction.
The first weapon of mass destruction.
Okay, okay, wait,
the Minoan Trident was the first weapon of mass destruction?
The Trident was the first artifact locked away by Alexander the Great,
in what became Warehouse 1.
In the 15th century BCE,
the Minoan civilization was destroyed
by a catastrophic volcanic eruption.
Oh, I know this one. It's the Thera volcano,
which created the island of Santorini.
The Thera eruption was thought to have been caused
by a Trident, which when jammed into the ground
three times, causes a fissure in the Earth's surface.
If done in the right place, it could unleash a volcanic eruption.
Is that what Plato based the story of Atlantis on?
Right. Right. Poseidon had a trident.
I played him in fifth grade with a pitchfork and a toga.
Beat out Ralph Brunskie for that part.
Kid had a voice like Jennifer Tilly.
I am Poseidon.
I'm terribly sorry. Que sera.
Peter,
the Trident is real.
That's one of the reasons the Romans came to Egypt.
Caesar wanted that power.
That explains why the Trident is in two pieces.
H.G. Found part of it in the 1800s,
and hid it on her daughter's casket.
And MacPherson de-bronzed her, so he could find
Warehouse 2 and the other half of the Trident.
That's why she killed him. He was about to tell us.
The question is, now that she's got both parts,
what is she planning to do with them?
Someone evil just bought a plane ticket.
To?
Casper Natrona International, Wyoming.
That's only two hours away from here.
All right, get back here right now.
MacPherson was collecting artifacts to sell them to the highest bidder.
Do we think that H.G.'s doing the same thing?
Let's hope so. The alternative could be unpleasant.
Good boy. You did great, Harvey.
There's a lot less to lick now, but I promise you
it'll make your life a whole lot easier.
Oh, Pete.
Gorgeous.
Oh, look, Harvey, he even engraved it with our favorite breed.
Let's send him a picture of us using it.
It looks like things are okay between me and Kelly.
Why would you say that?
She sent me some pictures...
With her and a little puppy.
Look, she's powdering his nose. Look at the little puppy!
Okay, it's official. I'm a girl.
You had a lot of vibes about H.G., didn't you?
No. Not really.
God, you're a terrible liar.
What?
Look, I trust your instincts, Myks.
We're partners. A team.
Yeah. I put the team in danger because
I thought I knew better than everybody else.
Look, you need to forget about that. Okay?
There's no way that any of us could be sure that...
No, there was plenty of doubt, from everyone but me.
H.G. Has a huge advantage, Myka.
She's willing to lie, steal and kill to get what she wants, and we're not.
So, I'm going to side with us on this one.
With you.
- Lattimer. H. - Oh, good, you've landed.
I do hate voicemail.
Oh, hey, lady cuckoo.
We were just talking about you.
Uh, well, what, are you calling
to play a little game of Let's Make a Deal?
Oh, I'm afraid not, dear boy.
Oh, come on. Nut job like you must have quite a wish list.
How about a little electroshock therapy?
Zap the crazy right out of you.
Run a trace on Pete's phone. Already happening.
We put a trace on both your phones
as soon as you got to Paris, just in case.
Once I lock in on her signal, I can track her with this.
With what? What is that? Show me.
Are you messing around with stuff in the Farnsworth aisle?
I've been quite impressed, keeping up with me as you have.
Not quite catching me, of course.
But then, I am me.
Well, go ahead, get nice and comfy.
Oh, don't worry. I've closed all my accounts and buried my trail.
So, now, are you just calling to brag,
or did you get a sudden craving to be bronzed again?
Because we can make that happen for you.
For such a mediocre kisser, I'd have thought you'd at least have brains.
Yeah, well, you taste about as old as you are,
so right back at you there, grandma. Now, what do you want?
Just to suggest that you check in on Kelly about now.
Pete, don't.
Listen, you leave her the hell alone.
She has nothing to do with this. Oh, I haven't done a thing.
But you... You sent her a lovely gift.
I'm sure she'll be crazy for it.
We have to get to Kelly. No, no, no. No.
No. She's just trying to distract us.
Artie, I can't stay here. I got to go.
All right, just watch your back. Got it.
Where is she? Wyoming, and not far, but...
What? She's not stationary. She's moving.
Looks like l-26, heading for Bryson Reservoir.
Bryson, Bryson...
Bryson is in the middle of nowhere.
I mean, it's not even a tourist stop on the way to...
Yellowstone.
So what? She's on a road trip to see America?
She can't be.
You don't think that...
You don't think what? She can't be what?
The Yellowstone Caldera. Artie.
I've got a map here. Not this.
This! Seismic hazard map of the six known supervolcanoes in the world,
and the most powerful of which is thought to be Yellowstone Caldera,
which is under... Well, it's under Wyoming, Idaho, and Montana.
Are you kidding me? People go there for vacation.
If H.G. Were to jam the Trident into the ground there...
It would cause a chain reaction of monstrous proportions.
Millions would die immediately, but there's a far greater problem.
Bigger than millions would die?
The last supervolcano that erupted was 75,000 years ago.
Triggered an ice age.
Only 6,000 humans survived.
Claudia, you go back up Pete.
You and I are going to Yellowstone.
She's taking a car. We'll take a chopper, we'll get ahead of her. Go, go.
Right. Hey. You know, this is kind of cool.
Good luck. Yeah.
- Can we get there in time? - We have to.
Kelly, are you here?
Kelly?
Kelly!
I've been waiting for you.
Oh, my God. You scared me to death. I thought...
Hey! (EXCLAIMING) Kelly!
Wait a minute! Just hold on!
Just cut it out!
That is exactly what I intend to do, cut it out.
This has to be an artifact.
Even I can't make women this angry.
Just stand still.
Listen, Kelly, somebody did something to you, and I don't know what,
but just please, you got to trust me.
I love you, Pete.
Oh, babe. I love you, too.
And that's why I have to kill you.
Really? Really? No!
Give me that. Kelly!
Pete, what are you doing?
Kelly, are you back?
What's going on? Let go of me.
Must be the knife. What, she gave you Lorena Bobbitt's knife?
I'm so thirsty.
Here, come on, babe. Come on. Come on. Oh!
There you go. I need some water.
Are you okay? No. Get me some water.
All right, hold on. I'll be right back.
Ow.
Oh, God. Are you putting me down?
Now, we'll do this the easy way.
Artie, something's fishy.
Pete won't answer his phone.
Don't worry. Claudia has his back.
She's got to be right around here.
The magma chamber is highest here.
Right here? Yeah.
Okay.
What's that for? This is a subterranean heat sensor.
Reaches thousands of feet into the ground. Okay, wow,
the temperature is astronomical here.
If she's coming, she's coming here.
And here she is.
I'm not surprised you found me,
but I'm quite baffled that you expect to do anything about it.
And what could you possibly want
that you would go to these lengths? What? Money? Power?
What? Nothing.
Nothing? What do you mean, nothing? You obviously know what you're holding.
This isn't a bargaining tool.
I intend to use it right here, right now.
Hi, Kelly.
What's up?
Claudia, you can't be here right now. I have work to do.
Ah, Kelly, hey, hey! Hold on a second.
What are you doing there? Chopping Pete up into little bits.
Uh-huh. Right. And why?
Because I love him. That's a beautiful way to show it, but...
Claudia, if you don't get out of my way,
I'm going to have to kill you.
I'd really rather you just give me the axe.
All right, then.
There's got to be something here. Did somebody send you that axe?
Let go of me!
What's new here, Kel?
Compact!
Hello, antique-y. Where'd you come from?
Pete sent it to me.
Hang on a sec, Pete, kind of got my hands full here.
"L.A.B." Laboratory? No.
Ah! Initials. Okay, Lonny?
Lindsay? Larry? Lizzie? Lizzie! Lizzie Borden! Whoo!
Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her father 40 whacks.
And when the job was neatly done,
she gave her mother 41.
No! No! No!
Oh, my God.
What's going on?
And why is Pete tied to my table?
Claudia, what's happening?
It's okay. Somebody, I can't tell you who,
gave you Lizzie Borden's compact.
Lizzie Andrew Borden. I did a term paper on her.
Apparently, you name your daughter Andrew, and she chops you into little bits.
Big surprise.
I tried to kill Pete.
No, it's... It's okay.
Why would I do that?
Well, looking into the compact
probably makes you kill the thing you love,
so maybe Lizzie did it after all.
What are you talking about?
No, no, baby. Baby, this is good.
Okay? This means that you love me.
Stop. See,
because the truth is... Stop.
I tried to kill you.
Wait, Kelly. Hey, Kelly. Kelly, it's all right!
Just give it a rest for a bit.
Give her head time to catch up.
But, wait, I don't understand.
Why would you kill millions of innocent people?
Innocent? Open your eyes, Myka.
Have you looked at the world in which you live?
So because you lost your daughter, because you're angry...
No, don't you dare.
This may have begun with Christina's murder, but it's not about that.
Yeah, I foolishly believed that if I could find a way to travel through time,
then things would have improved.
A Utopia would have emerged, but here we are,
over a century later, and things have actually gotten worse.
The divide between rich and poor, hunger and famine,
war and violence and hatred, all flourishing beyond control.
Indeed, men have found new ways to kill each other
that were inconceivable in my day, even by fiction writers.
But millions of us are struggling against that every day.
This planet needs a rest from what you've done to it.
It needs a chance to repair itself.
Oh, my God, you seriously intend
to start another ice age.
The only way to save this world
is by destroying the parasites who are eating it alive.
I don't normally do this.
And you're going to wish you hadn't.
Artie? Oh!
Artie, what is it?
The Corsican Vest?
Afraid so.
Artie, what's... What's happening?
Well, the vest, it belonged to the Corsican brothers, twins.
When one of them got hurt, the other felt it.
You did that to yourself.
Where did you find it? Venice?
Fort Lauderdale. Of course.
Hey...
Myka! Three times.
Don't let her do it three times.
I won't.
I wouldn't.
Myka, talk to her. Talk to her.
So what? The entire planet is subject to your judgment now?
What about the millions of mothers who are going to lose their daughters,
just like you lost Christina? Is that right?
This is no world for a child.
I don't think you believe that.
I do. Watch me.
No!
Myka, that's two.
You are lying to yourself.
You never wanted this. If you wanted to kill Pete and me,
you would have done it in Warehouse 2, or in Paris.
And Artie, you would have let him die in Russia, but you didn't.
I needed you to trust me.
No. You needed us to stop you.
You wanted us to follow you and stop you.
That's why you called Pete this morning.
Think, Helena.
You're so filled with grief and anger,
but there is a part of you, I know it.
There is some small part of your soul
that knows that this is wrong
and that part is still alive, and it's just pushing to get through.
Yes.
That's the part that refuses to kill the very people who can stop you.
No. Stay away from me.
All right.
If I am wrong, then kill me.
Do it! Kill me now!
I mean, we're all going to die anyway, right? So what's the difference?
So, shoot me. Shoot me now.
Kill me, but not like that.
Not like a coward.
I want you to look me in the eyes and take my life.
Come on.
Do it.
Do it!
So, if you're not going to put H.G. Wells back in the Bronze Sector,
where's she going to go? Some other weird place that we don't know about?
The less you know, the better you'll be able to do your job.
That doesn't sound good.
You both did excellent work retrieving that artifact
and preventing a worldwide disaster.
That, of course, is the prime directive of Warehouse agents.
H.G. Wells was a formidable opponent. She fooled us all.
She didn't fool Artie.
Unfortunately, still a lousy shot with a real gun.
Ah.
Are you going to die on us every year? Because it's getting kind of boring.
I'm going to keep dying until it takes.
Or not. Ow! It hurts when I shrug.
Yeah, well, I bet wagging your finger at me, old man, will be...
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, kiddo.
Hey.
I plan on making your life hell for a very long time.
Can I hug you? Maybe later in the week.
Okay.
Hey. What are you,
putting together some stuff for a shelter?
I'm leaving.
Okay, okay, look, I'm sorry.
I've been really busy at work.
But I found some bones in the garbage today I had to bury...
I know. I know. I know. I've been wanting to tell you.
But... Okay, I don't really work at an IRS warehouse.
No kidding.
All right, just... Just listen, okay?
The rule is I can tell one person, one really important person...
No. Don't.
I am not the one, Pete.
So, please don't tell me.
I don't want a complicated life.
Complicated? It's not that complicated.
Kelly, it's way more simple than it looks.
Okay, Lizzie Borden's compact makes you kill the one you love, like she killed her dad.
You love me and I love you. It's simple.
It's just that your life is filled with excitement
and danger and just insanity,
and it's all the things that I don't want.
There are quiet days, too.
Goodbye, Pete.
Stay safe.
Hey. What's up?
I've been
trying to figure out ways to simplify my life,
and it all boils down to three words.
"Quit your job, Pete."
Four words. Mmm-hmm.
I wasn't counting "Pete."
So, then what?
I don't know. Get Kelly back.
I don't know. Try and live a normal life.
What?
If you had wanted to do that, you would have already left.
Look, just because that worked on H. G... This...
This is the right life for you.
It is.
You were born for it. And you're really, really, really good at it.
You are. And you need this Warehouse,
and this Warehouse 13 needs you.
You can't quit.
Yeah.
All right, I'm going to go see Artie. You coming?
Um... Pete, I...
In a bit.
Okay. Okay.
I understand you wanted to see me.
Yeah. Yes.
Would you... Would you give this to Artie, please?
Myka.
You can't blame yourself. It could have happened to any one of us.
But it didn't. It happened to me.
You talked her down. You saved us all.
It should never have come to that.
I put the entire world in jeopardy. I can't
even conceive of that. I just know that I can't...
I can't take that chance again. And neither can you.
"Artie, it breaks my heart to write this.
"We both know the Warehouse is my happiest place.
"I have thought a lot about this, and I can't stay here.
"If I do, I'll second guess myself into oblivion.
"Please forgive me, but I have to go.
"Pete, you're the big brother I never had.
"I wish I had your strength.
"I know I frown at you and punch you a lot,
"but I'll always love you. Please be careful.
"Leena, you're the only mom they have.
"Watch over them and make sure that Artie eats right.
"Claudia,
"take care of Pete and Artie.
"Let's face it, you're the only real adult in the group.
"I wish I could be there to see you
"grow into the amazing woman you're going to become.
"I love you all. Myka."